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Joke of the Day

"What do we want? CLICKBAIT! When do we want it? The answer will shock you... ***** Edit: There was this one weird typo that doctors don't want you to know about."

"What's the difference between a suicide vest and a feminist? The vest actually does something when it's triggered."

"A grasshopper walks into a bar ... The bartender says ""Hey we have a drink named after you"" The grasshopper says ""You have a drink named Steve?"""

"Guy walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing only Saran Wrap... Guy: doctor, I've been hearing voices. Can you help? Doctor: I'll try to diagnose but I can clearly see your nuts"

"year 39, month 3: woke up a sentient tangle of meat and calcium again"

"So a Mexican magician says he could disappear in three seconds. He starts to count....""uno, dos"", and poof, he disappears without a tres."

"Maybe your jeans are distressed because you're wearing them?"

"When most people say, ""I'm on a diet,"" what they mean is, ""I eat exactly as much as I normally do, but now I feel guilty about it."""

"I think people are getting sick of my jokes when they exhale deeply I should take it as a sigh-n"

"Life is like a box of chocolates It doesn't last as long for fat people."