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Joke of the Day

"cop: the perp was found with red paint on his fingers, so i guess you could say he was caught.. *looks at camera* why is there a camera here"

"How many optometrists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One... or two? One... or two?"

"Everybody who has played Russian Roulette will tell you it's safe. Well, at least 5/6 people will."

"Imagine your relief if you had a dream your daughter was dating a DJ then woke up & remembered she was dating a ferris wheel operator."

"A homeless lady agreed to let me take her home I don't understand why she got pissed when I loaded the cardboard box in my pickup truck."

"I bet... ... you clicked here."

"DJ Khaled is at a bar... *He has already had 10 shots* The bartender asks him if he's done or not... DJ Khaled says,""Nope I'll have Another One."""

"Why should you wear leather when playing Hide and Seek? Because it's made of hide."

"I slept like a baby last night I cried for hours and shit my pants."

"Everything is funnier... Everything is funnier when you're not allowed to laugh. *holds a giggle in* [http://minestatus.co/post.php?id=630]"