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Joke of the Day
"I like my coffee like I like my slaves... Free."
Next Joke
"[stops during sex] If you spin my fanny pack around, there's sandwiches in there. Help yourself."
"What is the longest word in the English language? SMILES: there is a mile between the first and last letters!"""
"Just hugged a sycamore tree before kissing an oak tree. I'm having a treesome lol"
"Boss: Are you high? Me: [trying to photocopy a dog] are you a cop?"
"TIFU by posting on the wrong subreddit hehe"
"""I just called to say I love you."" -Stevie Wonder not understanding how prank calls work"
"What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable ? The wheelchair"
"Don't go over-analyzing my statuses. If I made sense all the time I wouldn't need to be here so much."
"House for sale. Spider on ceiling."