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Joke of the Day

"What is the singular form of binoculars? telescope"

"I bought one of Donald Trump's books on how to run a business ...but for some reason, it just ends at Chapter 11."

"Q: Why did the man hit the fortune teller when she started laughing? A: He was striking a happy medium."

"I headed-butted a girl while we were making out. She told me we should just skip the fore-head-play."

"God lets you know where you stand with him by how tangled your headphones get."

"Two Irishmen are looking for a job. They come across a sign, that reads, ""Tree Fellers"". Pat and Murphy look at each other and exclaim, ""If only Seamus was here, we would've had the job!"""

"Did you guys hear the one-liner about the Monorail?"

"There's plenty more fish in the sea ""Actually we've 5% the tuna we once had. 10% of sharks. 5% of cod"" I'm bad at consoling dumped friends"

"Why was 6 afraid of 7 Because 7 was a registered 6 offender"

"Fighter plane escorts a passenger jet in to Manchester airport as the pilot reported a suspicious item on board. The United team bringing back a trophy this season."