138109

Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend got her car smogged, and suddenly I wondered about Middle-earth; Do Hobbits ever need to Smaug their cars?"

"What do you call a lion wearing a cravat and a flower in its mane ? A dandy lion !"

"Why was NASA so interested on travelling to Mars? Because it had their Curiosity."

"You always agree with me and like what I say even if you don't believe me. What am I? An upvote"

"What's an alcoholic's favorite type of beer? All of them"

"Torrential rainfall? Rising floodwaters?! No escape?!! Don't worry... I Noah guy."

"ME: *opens planner and puts on reading glasses* no im sorry looks like i can't make it FRIEND: you're holding a VCR warranty brochure"

"If you are under 18 years old please Unfollow me, I have underwear older than you."

"Did you hear the Pillsbury Doughboy and one of the Cabbage Patch Kids had a baby? It was an ugly little fucker with a yeast infection."

"If only 10 people were to stay alive in this world. what number of healthy males do you think is a good number? And how many females?"