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Joke of the Day

"Lady Gaga got engaged on Valentine's Day with a heart-shaped ring, indicating her fiance shares her love for bold originality."

"How did Hellen Keller break her arms when she fell down a well? She was shouting for help."

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil? A Japanese business man wouldn't pay $200 to have a lentil on his face"

"Cooking is actually really easy for anyone to do It's just that most people don't have thyme."

"DON'T YOU LIKE ME! I WANNA MARRY YOU! WHY AM I IN THE TRUNK! -and other things I hear from guys on first dates"

"Dear women married to homophobic racist adult males: Nice ass."

"Sorry I wore tear-away pants to your wedding. In my defense I really thought I had on underwear. Also sorry for the shoddy manscaping."

"Let them know how much you care. This holiday season, say it with a mass text."

"I like a good dark joke, because a bad one isn't funny."

"Request: jokes about the color turquoise. And jokes about the color pink. Do your worst. Dad jokes preferred"