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Joke of the Day

"Say what you will about the Russian Olympic Team... ...I think they're pretty dope"

"/r/jokes in a nutshell... Why did the police officer arrest the pop machine? It was selling coke."

"I just won an award for my hairdressing skills. Best Newcomber"

"What did the pirate with a wheel in his pants say. Arr, I don't know what it is but it's drivin' me nuts!"

"What was Jesus's least favourite exercise class? Pontius Pilates."

"Why is depressed clothing so convenient? It hangs itself"

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

"1- Buy a big padlock. 2- Throw the key into the ocean. 3- Find a stranger with stretched-out earlobes. 4- Attach padlock to earlobe. 5- Run."

"With a stolen credit card, who WOULDN'T go straight to Wendy's to get 2 Double Stacks and a small Sprite? So thanks for asking for ID, lady."

"""To be and not to be"" ~ Schrodinger's Hamlet"