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Joke of the Day

"Jokes about the USA? Let's see them!"

"Why was the mushroom a hit at parties? Because he was a *fungi*"

"did you write ""call Gary in HR for lots of really disappointing and hairy sex"" on the bathroom stall? [wearing my ""I hate gary"" tshirt]: no"

"The problem with seducing someone via text, is you sometimes end up wrapping your warm moth, or mother around his troubling clock"

"They're just making up new weather with this 'thunder snow' shit. Next we'll have 'earthquake rain' or 'sunny darkness' or some shit."

"A guy calls his boss and asks him: Guy: What's the difference between this morning and your daughter? Boss: I don't know. Guy: I'm not coming in this morning!"

"[quietly tries to open a can of beer] driving instructor: what was that"

"Hey, guys. Love college basketball? You should see this thing CBS is doing this weekend. Crazy!"

"The White House bar and restaurant, upon Trump's arrival, will reduce their beverage selections to just two choices: You can get a White Russian or an Orange Julius."

"Did you hear about the house that lesbians built? It's all tongue in groove."