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Joke of the Day

"A guy calls his boss and asks him: Guy: What's the difference between this morning and your daughter? Boss: I don't know. Guy: I'm not coming in this morning!"

"What do you call a Mexican with small muscles? No whey Jose."

"What's it called when you backtalk someone so hard they die? A sassination."

"Me: - Sweetie, why is the bottle of whiskey half empty? Wife: - Because you're a pessimist, honey!"

"What's the difference between a peeping tom and a rapist? A rapist doesn't waste time beating around the bush"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Borg ! Borg who ? Borg standard !"

"What kind of olives do I like? Olive them"

"Pregnant - Beyonce Pregnant with twins - Beytwice"

"What do you call shy bladder incidents? Frozen pees"

"How can you tell what clan a Scottish man is from? Look under his kilt and if he has a quarter pounder then he is a McDonald."