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Joke of the Day

"Why did the phone get away with its crime? Because it had good connections!"

"What's the difference between unlawful and illegal? One is against the law and the other is a sick bird."

"Facebook definitely needs to change their name. Pretty sure books aren't supposed to make you dumber."

"Why does the sun never set on the British Empire? Because God wouldn't trust an Englishman in the dark!"

"If you made a viral video of a cow... It'd be called a bo-Vine."

"What did the Hollywood producer say to the Apes in the zoo when they refused to sign contracts to appear in his new film? Stop playing it cagey!"

"The police are taking me downtown for an interview and I didn't even apply for the job."

"If I were Spock, I would spend 24 hours a day saying things like ""get out of my Vulcan face"" and ""are you Vulcan kidding me?"""

"How do you choose a stupid policeman from a group of policemen? At random."

"The French name for I Can't Believe It's Not Butter translates literally to False Butter Has Entered Our Home"