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Joke of the Day

"Have you ever thought about dying instantly? couldn't hurt."

"What did the baby light bulb say to it's mommy? I wuv you watts and watts!"

"My pet mouse Elvis died today He was caught in a trap"

"HER: I'm ending this ME: why? HER: you're way too literal ME: I promise I can change HER: prove it ME: *puts on a different shirt*"

"Bloody Foreigner, coming over here, wanting to know what love is."

"Trying not to ask my blind roommate if he masturbated too much."

"Did you hear about the guy that died of a Viagra overdose? They couldn't close his coffin"

"Why did the scale not wear any of his shirts? Because they all had a tare ^^^I'llseemyselfout"

"Why are Iranian women always eating? They can't stop getting stoned"

"My lovelife is like a ferrari. I can't afford it."