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Joke of the Day

"- If any person believes that these 2 shouldn't be joined in holy matrimony, speak now or... - THE PRIEST ALREADY SAID THAT! - Ugh, I do."

"I like my women like I like my news... Without an opinion"

"Q: What do you call two blondes in a canoe? A: Fur traders."

"How do you say the name Ray in Jamaican? Raymond"

"The worst feeling in the world is being in love with somebody that knows how to untie rope and run away while you're napping."

"Marriage - Some days are just tough I look forward to those"

"Jason Bateman origin story: On a field trip to a scientific lab as a teen, he was bitten by a radioactive Jason Bate."

"What do you call two banana peels on the floor? Slippers"

"*beats a guitar hero song on expert mode* *changes Twitter bio to ""musician/songwriter""*"

"One thing that I have never had in the glove box of my car, is a pair of gloves."