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Joke of the Day

"Why did the Jews roam the desert for 40+ years? Because Moses lost a quarter."

"I decided... I decided to make my password ""incorrect"" because if I type it in wrong, my computer will remind me, ""Your password is incorrect."""

"Obama says he's pro-vaccine, GOP comes out against it. Now Obama needs to express his support for breathing."

"If I end up on life support, feel free to pull the plug.. However, if I'm charging my phone, stay the hell away from the outlet."

"What's the difference between a lawyer and a vaccuum? With a vaccuum, the dirtbag's on the inside!"

"Why did you cut me down, lumberjack? Lumberjack: Oh, you really don't know why? Tree: Sorry, I'm stumped."

"Yesterday my date asked me ,"" how do u view lesbians"" apparently in Full HD was not the right answer"

"TIL the band Tenacious D didn't actually sing the greatest song in the world It was just a tribute"

"When I was little, I remember falling asleep on the sofa and waking up in bed. Now that I'm older, I find myself passing out on the sofa and waking up on the floor."

"The NSA is coming to town You better not call, You better not Skype, You better not type and I'm telling you why, The NSA is coming to town"