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Joke of the Day

"Two cookies were walking across the road... ... one gets hit by a car, the other one says ""ah crumbs..."""

"Men are three times more likely to successfully commit suicide than women. We get the shit done right."

"What do vegetable do when they got robbed? They dont."

"Even though the Miami Dolphins traded down in the draft... They still got the highest pick."

"Jimmy Savile was a terrible ventriloquist. He stuck his hand up my arse and told me not to say anything."

"I think I'm getting Anal Glaucoma.... I don't see my ass going into work today"

"If I had known ""cuties"" were little oranges when my wife asked me to ""bring a few home,"" I could have avoided these awkward introductions."

"A black man catches a goldfish and it says ""If you let me go ill give you one wish!"". He replies why do I get 1 and everyone else 3? ""Because you're a fucking nigger"""

"I've drawn a cartoon picture of Mohamed and signed it Kim Jong-un. Let's see where this goes."

"The Duke ordered his subjects not to dig tunnels beneath his land but the King gave them permission to do so, He felt undermined."