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Joke of the Day

"Two cookies were walking across the road... ... one gets hit by a car, the other one says ""ah crumbs..."""

"My fiance asked me what I thought about having kids. I told her that I love children, I just can't bear them!"

"I have a CW who can't input data into a spreadsheet without whispering each number so don't tell me about your day."

"You'd think nursing a child would go by quickly... ...but it feels like a maternity."

"Your mommas so fat When she goes to the movies she sits next to everybody."

"Besides OP's mom, Which character would you like to have seen more of on the Andy Griffith show?"

"Give a man a jacket He will be warm for the winter. Teach a man to jacket, he will never leave the house."

"Do you want to join the ""P"" club? Congratulations, ur-ine!"

"What do you call a midget in a Mental Asylum? I don't really know, but it sounds a little crazy"

"[funeral] ok I need everyone over 70 to gather for the bouquet toss"