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Joke of the Day

"Why do white people hate being called crackers? Because they find it insaltine."

"Tried a new flavor from my favorite brand of energy drinks. It was the 2nd grossest taste I've ever had in my mouth. (No offense, Andrea.)"

"I'm selling my talking parrot..... Why? Because yesterday, the bastard tried to sell me."

"What do you call a man with no arms or legs... ... sitting at your door? Matt. ...floating in your pool? Bob. ...hanging on your wall? Art. ... water skiing? Skipper."

"Always been a favourite of mine. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles."

"I like my coffee like I like my women. Not banging my friends."

"(punny) Did you hear about the orgy at the campground? It was in tents"

"My wife wanted a new mattress... I said I'd have to sleep on it."

"A man phones work and says ""Sorry, but I can't come in today, I'm really sick."" The boss asks, ""How sick are you?"" ""Well..."" the man replies ""I'm in bed with my mother."""

" Taken Single Depends on how drunk I am."