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Joke of the Day

"Can you believe that after all the shit they've been through, they're still together? My Buttcheeks ((_"

"I just walked across my cat's keyboard while he was filing his tax return."

"A football supporter's favourite Christmas song? 'Yule never walk alone'"

"Why do airplanes have to go around the sweatpants factory? Because it's a NO FLY zone!"

"How many zen buddists does it take to screw in a light bulb? One and not one."

"It's funny how we all sleep differently. I sleep on my side My roommate sleeps on his back. My ex sleeps with everybody. That sort of thing"

"This joke contains no nudity, no sexual acts, no alkohol drinking, no cheating, violence, bad language or anything provocative. It's so safe, its a joke."

"My mom: The liberals in California are rubbing off on you. Me: I know, it keeps getting in my hair. (silence)"

"A lion would probably call a Kenyan runner fast food."

"Got suspended from Instagram for going on everyone's food pics and posting the calories."