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Joke of the Day
"Why did Santa divorce Mrs Clause? because he only came once a year"
Next Joke
"Why can't Athiests solve exponential problems? Because they don't believe in higher powers."
"Mafia boss: ""I want him swimming with the fishes!"" *later at the coral reef* Me: ""This is amazing!"" Mafia boss: ""Anything for you."""
"Waiter waiter! What's this creepy crawly thing doing in my dinner? Oh that one ? he comes here every night."
"Well, add 'making a simple phone call' to the list of 'things that give me panic attacks'."
"Last chance to use the washroom before I shower! Speak now or forever hold your pees."
"There's so much nudity on TV these days, it makes me so angry. I just sit there, shaking my fist."
"A guy walks into a bar... And says ""ouch."""
"My grandpa told me this before he kicked the bucket. He said, ""Son, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"""
"They say 1 is the loneliest number, but I bet 0 is even lonelier. Not only is he a single digit; he's fat."