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Joke of the Day

"So, in light of CISA becoming a law, I give you this joke about governments trampling people's rights: [Deleted by NSA]"

"The internet does not make people ignorant, it just makes their ignorance visible to everyone else."

"I consider myself a practical gentleman. That's why I masturbate in the shower. The cleanup is a breeze. The only trouble is keeping my laptop dry. That's why I bring the umbrella."

"When I grow up I want to make two Rugrats pornos... Rugrats: All Grown Up & Rugrats Go Wild."

"Using my toes to pick something up makes it hard to go to church on Sunday."

"My dad only says I love you on special occasions like birthdays, holidays, and competency hearings."

"My wife's a ventriloquist, which means she has the ability to complain about having to give me a blowjob whilst actually giving me a blowjob."

"Why didn't the Mexican go bow hunting? Because he didn't habanero"

"Q: Have you heard the one about the witch's broom? A: It's sweeping the valley. (That one usually floors me, but I'm going to brush it aside before I'm swept away with laughter.)"

"Out of all Katherine Heigl films, I enjoyed the one where she starts with being a prude but ends up having fun with a guy and falls in love."