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Joke of the Day
"What does Jared and a piece of jewelery have in common? They both come in small packages"
Next Joke
"Why would you be scared to get Ebola? You haven't left your couch since 2011."
"If a rabbit does not get any food for a week... ...he can swallow a whole python. If a rabbit does not get any food or sex for a week, the python will wish he were swallowed first."
"If you didn't take a selfie at the gym, were you really there?"
"90% of the contacts in my phone are useless"
"What is a soccer player's favorite drink? Sham-pain."
"So apparently they have to HIRE you to take off your shirt at Abercrombie"
"What's the difference between an egg and Elliot Rodger? An egg gets laid before it cracks."
"You say, ""POE-TAY-TOE."" I say, essential ingredient for a distilled spirit."
"Everyone please stop saying that today's date only happens once. EVERY date only happens once, that's how time works."