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Joke of the Day

"A Storm Trooper and a Red Shirt get into a fight. Storm Trooper misses every shot. Red Shirt dies anyways."

"Everyone's excited for the new Minecraft movie. It's sure to be a real blockbuster"

"I love puppies and kittens and little cute hamsters But not all together. I don't like my food touching."

"Do you know who REALLY gets irony? Skydiving schools. Cuz you gotta drop out to graduate! *releases mic to float down on tiny parachute*"

"Why do Communists only drink coffee? Because proper tea is theft."

"Ladies - how do you know if you are having a good time? When you throw your knickers against the wall, and they stay there."

"This sushi restaurant has the worst service. ""Ma'am this is an aquarium"""

"A study was just conducted to see what the #1 fear in humans is The results came back, and it's cats. But something seems a little off. They've only done testing on mice so far"

"Diet and exercise pro tip: Eat only on the days you are going to have sex."

"There's a spider that's been in the same place on my living room wall for an hour so he's essentially also watching Shrek."