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Joke of the Day

"""Pull my hair, slap me, call me dirty names"" - WTF? I've been doing this since kindergarten and always got yelled at."

"Dig a hole all the way to China, poke your head out and yell ""YOU GUYS BUILT THIS SHOVEL IT'S A GREAT SHOVEL JUST WANTED TO SAY HEY!"""

"What do you get when you mix T and C? Angry British people!"

"Today, my girlfriend said she's dumping me for some geometric drawings Figures."

"Why would you wrap a hamster in duct tape? So it doesn't explode when you're fucking it."

"Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go, it's pretty damn good."

"How do you make three pounds of fat attractive? Put a nipple on it."

"Wind In The Willows: Choosing Nicknames: Ratty: I'll be The Ratster! Toad: I'll be The Toadster! Mole: I'll be The Molest... I'll be Moley."

"It's ironic that so many NASCAR fans are afraid of other races."

"I just watched a documentary on marijuana. I think all documentaries should be watched that way."