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Joke of the Day

"Someone knocked on my door and asked if I wanted to donate to the organization for children with no hands. I started clapping."

"Where does lonely soup go? To a brothel."

"I'd rather break your headboard than your heart."

"Did you hear how Mexico announced it's solving their country's housing crisis? The Mexican government has decided to build apartment"

"When someone tells me how old their kid is in months, I ask them to rephrase it in days, so they know what I just went through."

"After much deliberation, the Cambridge University Netball Team.... ...decided not to abbreviate their name"

"What does Batman put in his beverages? Just ice."

"So did you hear about the brother and sister that got married? They opened up an incesteraunt."

"If life gives you melons, You might be dyslexic!"

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Ten. One to change the lightbulb and nine to blog about how empowering it was."