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Joke of the Day

"Today at the church, the lady next to me lit a cigarette and started smoking it... I almost dropped my beer in shock."

"I went to the library. I said,""Can I borrow a book about suicide?"" The guy said,""We did have one, but we never got it back."""

"So Abraham Lincoln walks into a bar... ...and says, ""I'll have a shot."" Did I just make up a new lame joke, or has this been done before? I think I need to sleep."

"At what time does Sean Connery like to watch the Williams sisters play? Tennish."

"Who would you save first? Wife asks her husband: Honey, If a lion attacks my mother and I, Who would you save first? Husband: Well, the lion!"

"Yur mom is so fat When she blow her nose chicken nuggets come out."

"Me: This is a beautiful flower arrangement Host: That's a salad."

"Why did the teacher have trouble controlling her pupils? She was cross eyed."

"Why are Jewish Men Circumcised? Because Jewish Women won't buy anything unless it's 25% off. You're welcome Reddit"

"Women are like pickup trucks. Men with poor taste usually want to add a lift kit."