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Joke of the Day

"Make a man a fire: he'll be warm for the night Set a man on fire: he'll be warm for the rest of his life."

"My parents would hide fruit roll ups on top of the refrigerator where I couldn't reach them. And leave chemicals under the sink."

"Need to call in a hot female carpenter to fix this morning wood."

"What's the difference between squash and zucchini? You can't zucchini bugs! A family-friendly take on the age old ""jam VS jelly"" joke."

"My wife wants pay equality.... I told her I would do 1 better and gave her $1 to mow the grass."

"If Trump gets elected this November I'm going to jack off Because I might as well cum if I'm getting fucked."

"How do you call a sex doll when you can see the whites of its eyes? Full"

"The average strokes per game at Wimbledon is 15, unless Maria Sharapova is playing then it is considerably higher..."

"My girlfriend doesn't know this, but I put a dollar in an envelope every time we have sex. That's all I'm spending on her for Christmas. So far she's getting a McChicken."

"A man goes into a library and asks for a book on pick-up lines. The librarian replies, ""It's in my house, if you want to come over and collect it."""