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Joke of the Day
"I thought Bill Gates would cave and release the new Microsoft Office early. But he kept his Word."
Next Joke
"JESUS: [picks up bread] this is my body JESUS: [picks up wine] this is my blood JESUS: [accidentally picks up his cat] this is my...cat"
"The first of Jay-Z's 99 problems is the obsessive compulsive disorder that requires him to know his precise number of problems at all times."
"[mall food court] Me: *stomach rumbling* OMG not now Brain: Too bad you hate using public washrooms My White Undies: Sweet baby jesus no"
"This doctor once told me eating a bagel was like eating 5 slices of bread and I was like ok, cool, I like bread"
"What do you call a crocodile who always lies? A croc o' shit."
"I'm ""don't flash your headlights at someone who doesn't have theirs on bc they will come and kill you"" years old."
"""Oh yeah"" - me, remembering Iowa exists."
"What's the difference between a joke and two dicks? You can't take a joke."
"Why is it good for a mason to live in constant fear? That way he just shits bricks."