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Joke of the Day

"there once was a man from nantucket whose butthole was as wide as a bucket when it was full of goop, how did he poop? very carefully lmao"

"The workers at the inn aren't very friendly... they create a hostel environment."

"Why was six afraid of seven? Seven is a registered six offender."

"I found a ghost passed out on my stairs last night. He must have been really into the boos! Happy October!"

"*turns down the lights* Girl this is going to be a magical night *dumps legos on bed* ok first we need to separate these by color"

"How many depressed people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Who cares..."

"I've bought tickets to all One Directions upcoming gigs.They're not my cup of tea but the tickets say The Doors open at 7:15 and i love them"

"How long does it take to cook a baby in a microwave? I don't know, I was too busy masturbating."

"'Winter Wonderland' is my favourite song about building a snowman that you will potentially have sex with later"

"I almost got hit by a car today, but due to a swift maneuver I was able to not get hit. It was a Dodge."