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Joke of the Day

"I've bought tickets to all One Directions upcoming gigs.They're not my cup of tea but the tickets say The Doors open at 7:15 and i love them"

"What is a hooker in Alaska called? A frostitute!"

"Is the age of consent for dogs 18 or 2.572?? (Need to know ASAP)"

"I wasn't too impressed by Dr. Strange.. I've seen Stranger Things."

"Why do lesbians shop at sports authority? Because they hate Dicks"

"What do you call the happy fellow that brings death to the people? The grin reaper"

"During sexual intercourse Jimmy suddenly stops and becomes motionless.. .. Girl: What the heck are you doing?? Jimmy: I have seen this on adult porn sites, it's called ""buffering"""

"What do you call four Mexicans in quicksand? Quatro Cinco"

"What's the worst part about locking your keys in your car, outside of a planned parenthood center? Having to go inside and ask for a coat-hanger."

"A woman noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. ""Ha! That's not going to help,"" she said. ""Sure, it does,"" he said. ""It's the only way I can see the numbers."""