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Joke of the Day

"I can't stand people who curse. Fucking disgraceful."

"My friends think I never listen to their opinions... like I give a sh*t what they think."

"Hey people, I've invented a new word. Plagiarism."

"I just did all the math and it turns out that girls have tweeted ""Sushi time!"" on 4,362,622,021 different occasions."

"Do you know what that white shit in bird shit is Shit..."

"In a hundred year's times, the equivalent of ""Mozart turning in his grave"" will be Adele rolling in the deep"

"midget in the library midget walks into a library and ask do you have any books on irony? the librarian replies sure they are on the top shelf"

"I met an obsessive-compulsive sodomite once. He was anal-retentive."

"""I need to get laid man!""nn- eggs (in the chicken)"

"Autocorrect and I are so close, we finish each other's sentinels."