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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a vampire that eats period blood? Count Snatchula"

"What is the cheapest way to get a slut? Give her $300 and ask for the $299 discount."

"How do you know you're girlfriend is getting too fat? She can fit into your wife's clothes."

"What's the difference between a nicely dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle?? Attire"

"I used to think ""I hope I don't do anything stupid."" Now it's more like ""I hope whatever stupid shit I do at least fits in a tweet."""

"Steven Tyler is aging pretty gracefully for a claymation skeleton who fell into a pile of feathers."

"People who talk to themselves tend to be better lovers. Did you know that? Yes, I did know that. Thank you for asking."

"What do ISIS and Little Miss Muffett have in common? They both have curds in their whey!"

"Just met a HOT girl So I just met this hot girl. Problem is she had 12 nipples. Sounds weird.... Dozen Tit?"

"Did you guys see the goal from half field today in the World Cup? It was a great U.S. attack from Midway"