136558

Joke of the Day

"Her: What are your desires? Me: My desires are..[imagines having a talking Pug named Maurice that I watch Netflix with]...Unconventional."

"Hey dad, the hospital called, patients are trying to rest, could you please turn down your television."

"First take an ass and put another ass behind it. Then I come. Then the whole nation comes after me.... That is how you spell assassination"

"Did you know gullible came from ancient Greek? The prefix 'gulli' meaning 'believing' and the suffix 'ble' meaning 'ble-shit'."

"What do you call a Jewish pokemon trainer? Ash."

"What did my roommate say when I asked him if he wanted to watch the movie The usual Suspects? Is it about black people?"

"""I'm an actress"" I watched your web series, and I disagree."

"What's made of brass and sounds like Tom Jones? Trombones."

"Everyone seems to like tinman from wizard of oz... But I can't stannum.>_>"

"What did 0 say to 8? Nice belt, shithead."