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Joke of the Day

"I've been clicking ""remind me later"" on this work software update for 2 years when is he going to get the hint that I'm not interested?"

"Why do lesbians always win against journalists? Scissors beats paper."

"What do you call a woman who can't draw? Tracy"

"I'm more pissed off than a midget with a yo-yo."

"Female without the vowels is 'FML'. Need I say more?"

"So I just fell down the stairs holding a guitar... and accidentally wrote a One Direction song."

"Waiter: Hi! Our special today is macaroni or cheese! Me: Wait - did you say 'or' cheese? Waiter: *lifts shirt, reveals gun* Look, I'm a cop"

"I'm such a perv that... ... even the crack of dawn isn't safe."

"I like to go into changing rooms in the mall and yell ""help they're all out of toilet paper."" It really scares the shit out of the employees"

"What did the raped dog said to the PETA activist? Thank god I am not an African kid."