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Joke of the Day

"Mr whippy was found dead today with a flake up his ass, chocolate sprinkles on his penis and strawberry sauce on his bollocks. Police think he topped himself."

"5-year-old: Dad, can you make the rain go away? Me: Someone more powerful than me controls the weather. 5-year-old: Me: 5-year-old: Mom?"

"How did Caitlyn Jenner and Kanye West settle an argument? They went outside and exchanged blows."

"Why do men like Haunted Bees? boobees ! :D I'll show myself out."

"WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU MIX A RETARD AND A FUCKHEAD? AN AMERICAN! YOU GET AN AMERICAN!"

"I'm not afraid of the Bermuda triangle or any triangle really. Even played at its most aggressive it's just not a threatening instrument."

"I like my women like I like my coffee ... ... ground up and in the freezer."

"Joke request Tell me your best joke that includes ""July"" ""fourth"" and ""fire"" Let's see what you've got, Reddit!"

"A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says... ""Why the long face?"" The horse says, ""My wife was just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer."" The bartender says, ""Holy shit! A talking horse!"""

"Just saw a doctor eating an apple. My whole life is a lie."