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Joke of the Day

"A bear and rabbit take a shit together The bear says ""dont you hate it when you got shit on your fur?"" ""Not at all"" says the rabbit Then,the bear wipes his butt with the rabbit"

"""Did you go shopping for my birthday present?"" ""Yeah and I found the perfect thing."" ""What thing is that?"" ""Nothing!"""

"""I wish there was a more convenient way to stalk others""- The phrase that started Facebook"

"I learned how to count cards so I could hustle idiot 4 year olds out of their juice box when we play Go Fish"

"Do you know why Santa only work on the 25th of December? Because he knows where all the bad girls are...(sorry)"

"""I'll be a dentist. Then they'll love me."" ""We're terrified of dentists."" ""I'll kill a lion!"" ""It was a beloved lion with a name."" ""Dammit."""

"I just told a girl her eyebrows were drawn on too high. She looked surprised."

"when i was born i was no bigger than a hotdog, and no better. now i am the size of many hotdogs, and just as good"

"Why do actors like snooker halls? Because that's where they get their best cues."

"You could call a woman beautiful 100 times and she'll never remember it. But call her ugly once and she'll never forget it. You know why? Because an elephant never forgets."