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Joke of the Day

"if you don't appreciate Dwayne ""The Rock"" Johnson, I guess you could say you're taking him for granite. thanks & God bless"

"Isn't it ironic that the favorite drink of Britain's homeless is called ""Tennents""?"

"I know what piece of currency Harriet Tubman should be on a .60 cent coin"

"Next on a SPOOKY Friends: Ross invites new girl to Halloween party but Rachel shows up! WITCH one will he choose? Phoebe dies of dysentery."

"You can baby proof your house instantly by not inviting any babies over."

"There are so many scams on the Internet now... Send me $19.95 and I will tell you how to avoid them."

"If I hear a bump in the night, I'm hoping my kids investigate and annoy any potential intruder until he leaves."

"What did the guy say after he finished jacking off? Well that got a load off my mind."

"What do you call a dictionary on drugs? High definition Edit: Thanks Reddit for the upvotes, I'm glad you guys finally liked something that I posted. Thanks internet!"

"""Give me your Vitamin Water and your organic gluten-free cookies unless there's peanuts in them because I'm allergic."" - 2012 school bully"