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Joke of the Day

"if you don't appreciate Dwayne ""The Rock"" Johnson, I guess you could say you're taking him for granite. thanks & God bless"

"What's black and white and red all over and can't get through a revolving door? A nun with a spear through her head."

"I used to hate peer pressure, but my friends got me into it."

"Name your child autocorrect, because eventually they'll just finish your sentences and correct you every chance they get too."

"*job interview* ""So this yearbook isn't your resume?"" ""No. I'm not a moron. Those are my references. I highlighted all the NEVER CHANGE's."""

"Men should never wear a Saran Wrap skirt to a job interview... They'll clearly see yer nuts"

"You will never ever EVER get all the sand out of a suitcase you bring on vacation. EVER."

"Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in dirt and then cross the road again? Because he was a dirty double crosser!"

"If your bf/gf tries to start a fight with you just say, ""Please. Not during Toyotathon."""

"Question: What goes up and never comes down? Answer: Up"