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Joke of the Day

"what is the mods favorite joke? [deleted]"

"You can't keep two ducks alone together It's a paradox."

"*Young Jesus plays with food* Mary: you're not playing until you finish your bread and fish! *ugh* *touches food* *it multiplies* NOOOOOO!!!"

"[Gets down on one knee] We can save $7.99 a month if we share a single Netflix account."

"A jewish kid asks his dad for $20 His dad replies: $10!?!... What do you need $5 for?"

"Lost my Droid for an hour. The day I lost my daughter at the zoo is now the second most terrifying experience of my life."

"Not sure if you'll like golf? Walk on a treadmill for four hours under a sun lamp then throw away $75 when you're done."

"Whats the difference between a pick-pocket and a peeping tom? A pick pocket snatches watches."

"One of my students told me he was drinking formic acid to settle his indigestion. After all, I suppose it is an *ant* acid."

"Jesus one said: ""he who lives by the sword will die by the sword"" Apparently Jesus loved crossfit"