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Joke of the Day

"Chess says everything about men and women. The King has to take things one step at a time, while the Queen can do whatever the hell she wants."

"I only date Chinese women... They are used to seeing tons of red flags"

"Tingly feeling You know that nice tingly feeling you get when you're falling for someone? That's common sense leaving your body."

"How do cats park their cars? They *purr*allel park"

"Just bought a thesaurus and when I looked, all the pages were blank. I have no words to describe how angry I am!"

"What has 18 legs and catches flies? A baseball team."

"What is a pirate's favorite fast food joint? Aaaaarby"

"[OC c/o my 9 y.o.] What holds up a bowl's pants? Suspoonders!"

"So my 10yr old & her friends were talkin about 'seizures' in class & this random kid yells out 'I LOVE their breadsticks!' Can I adopt him?"

"I used to think there were 25 letters in the alphabet I don't know Y."