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Joke of the Day

"""I just want to meet a nice guy."" -Girls who exclusively date assholes"

"I wonder what Cannibals & Aztecs would say, watching civilized people eat symbolic hearts of loved ones on Valentine's Day."

"Why did the dog go to the hospital? He was feeling ruff."

"I don't like holocaust jokes. Anne Frankly you shouldn't either."

"Husband and AC Comparison Position of husband is like a split A.C. No matter how loud he is outside, but inside the house, he is designed to remain silent, cool & controlled by remote."

"I shot a man in Reno, Just to watch him cry. It was just a Nerf gun you big baby!"

"I asked a friend of mine what's the best joke he heard of. He told me to stand in front of a mirror. Still don't get it."

"My boyfriend said he wanted me to be more affectionate, so now I have TWO boyfriends."

"Things have not been great with my girlfriend who's an astronaut She said she needs some space."

"Q: How many Taureans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None: Taureans don't like to change anything."