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Joke of the Day

"Little known fact: a penguin's head can rotate 390 degrees. Once."

"What do you call a masturbating cow? Beef Strokin' Off"

"What's the difference between an outlaw and an in- law? Outlaws are wanted."

"You can't hear me! She: ""You are so deaf. You never hear me."" He: ""I heard you. I was just looking at my new watch."" She: ""Oh yeah? What kind is it?"" He: Six o'clock!"""

"I was surprised when my psychic friend complimented me on the way I had cooked his steak. ""Well done"" is rare from a medium."

"Her: About last night, please understand that wasn't me... that was the wine. Me: ... Her: ... Me: Do you have a phone number for that wine?"

"A friend of mine is having her breasts enlarged. She's paying for it with her endowment fund."

"Jesus Christ walks into a hotel As he walks in, he hands the inn keeper three nails and asks. ""Can you put me up for the night?"""

"I bet black unicorns have the biggest horns."

"Why are the news media like a prostitute? Because they are good at making stuff up."