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Joke of the Day

"A little boy has diarrhea... Mom: What the hell do you need Viagra for? Boy: Isn't that what you give to Dad when his shit doesn't get hard?"

"Jesus: Behold my powers. *walks onto water and falls in* [back in heaven] God: HAHAHAHAHA Angel: HAHAHAHA ""behold my powers"" God: HAHAHAHA"

"Your momma so fat... Her aides close lanes on the George Washington Bridge"

"Two pieces of asphalt are at a bar A piece of red asphalt walks in. One says to the other ""watch out for him, he used to be a cyclepath""."

"Life sucks when a girlfriend doesn't"

"I like my women like I like my coffee Slutty and blonde, with low self esteem"

"A Rolex is just an expensive way to let everyone know you don't know how to check the time on your phone."

"MY AUNT: All we can do now is pray DOCTOR: Oh nice so I should put down this cardio thoracic surgical instrument? We're good here?"

"Funny that Lebron couldn't even finish a game due to cramps when RoboCop saved all of Detroit without even having his own legs"

"There are two guys named Ted One is near-Ted, the other is..."