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Joke of the Day

"Sex with 3 people is called a threesome. Sex with 2 people is called a twosome. That explains why they call you handsome"

"I went jogging one time why am I not thin?"

"A sad dad joke A woman is at her father's deathbed. She hasn't seen him in years and now they only have a few moments left. ""Dad, I'm sorry,"" she whispers. ""Goodbye, Sorry,"" he says, ""*I'm dead*."""

"A Pokemon Go player walks into a bar... Then into a tree... Then into a car..."

"What do you call a midget fortune teller who kills his customers? A small medium at large."

"Q: Where does an ape sleep? A: In an apricot."

"What is the difference between light and hard? Well, you can sleep with a light on."

"Do these jorts stuffed with free breadsticks from Olive Garden make my thighs look oily?"

"Told my doctor I had a headache. He gave me 2 hollowpoint ""pills"" and a 9mm ""delivery system"" Damn Obama Care."

"I tried killing a spider with glitter body spray. Now it won't stop stripping & I have to call it Cinnamon."