140553
Joke of the Day
"What is the difference between light and hard? Well, you can sleep with a light on."
Next Joke
"What's 9 + 10? Dix Neuf"
"Know how I know I am getting laid tonight...? Because I am stronger than you."
"What's the difference between Mormons and non Mormons? The temperature of their caffeine"
"Italian moms vs. Jewish moms At dinner the Italian mom says to their children, ""eat..eat.. or I'll kill you!"" Where as the Jewish mom says, ""eat... eat.. or I'll kill myself!"""
"[restaurant] ME: Do you have updog? WAITER: [sighs] No sir M: Ok, is this gluten free? W: No you have to pay for it M: Damn you're good"
"""I want to get drunk in public."" ""Me too but on pancake batter."" ""If only there was a way to solve both problems."" -The Origin of Eggnog"
"Not all astrophysicists are bad. I'm sure at least one of them's a really Feynman."
"A Freudian Slip is... when you say one thing but mean your mother."
"My spirit animal is a parasite that swims up your pee hole and plants an egg sac using its hook-like barbs."