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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between light and hard? Well, you can sleep with a light on."

"Nobody ever sneezes in movies."

"The problem with the exclamation point & question mark being side by side on a keyboard: I'm so sorry your grandma died? I love you?"

"I don't see how someone could mourn the loss of a Chinese dictator. It just seems unbereaveable to me."

"""Why is everyone talking about me? They seem mad..."" -Temp worker at Foot Locker"

"*watches a house fall on you* *steals your shoes*"

"What rhymes with left and means steal? theft"

"Have you heard the joke about the girl with Progeria? It got old pretty fast. (I know, it's awful)."

"Had to Return the Sensitive Toothpaste I bought yesterday... It couldnt take a joke!"

"Mickey and Minnie go to get divorced... When the judge asks for the reason, Mickey: ""Because my wife is fucking goofy."" Judge: ""You mean she's crazy?"" Mickey: ""No, she's just fucking goofy!"""