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Joke of the Day

"What Does a Gynecologist and a Pizza worker have in common? They both get to smell it, but neither gets to eat it."

"Why couldn't the blind black man play hockey? Because he was black."

"Swords just aren't naturally ""wooooshy"" enough for me, that's why I add the noise. That's why I add the noise, Janet."

"Standing behind a lady at Home Depot. Heard her ask for suggestions for tools to buy her grandson who was studying to be a quantum mechanic."

"A cat falls in a pool, a rooster laughs. Moral of the story: A wet pussy makes a cock feel good."

"Sign at the gas station: ""Bathroom is no longer available."" I can't believe it. Even the Shell bathroom has someone."

"So a horse walks into a bar... The patrons of the bar then proceed to scream in surprise because there's A FREAKING HORSE IN THE BAR."

"In the morning, I woke up on the floor next to my bed. I must have fell asleep."

"How do epileptics greet people? They shake."

"ME: I wonder if it wrestles cutely too? ZOOKEEPER: Sir, get out of the panda enclosure. ME: lol. No. *gets mauled to death by panda*"