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Joke of the Day

"Leaflet through the door telling me I can enjoy sex at 75. Which is handy, because I live at number 81."

"[hiding in pantry from murderer] [quietly tries to open bag of chips]"

"""Why won't you loan a neighbor a cup of sugar?"" [ sigh ] ""You're a pile of ants wearing a bathrobe."" [ bathrobe sags dejectedly ]"

"What is the first derivative of a cow? A prime rib."

"Always ask your girlfriend if she is actually a transvestite before you start dating her. I learned it the hard way."

"What's the difference Between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with a boob job. One is a crusty bus station the other is a busty crustacean."

"Ur mum is so ugly That hello kitty said goodbye"

"What am I? I have 4 eyes, hundreds of legs, and wings. What am I? A liar."

"Why did Nintendo cross the road? idk, Nintendo always does random shit and never explains it"

"What do you call a blind german? A not-see (Nazi)."