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Joke of the Day

"What do you call an ass on steroids? Assteroid."

"I shot two camera lenses out of two cannons into each other at high speed... ...I wanted to make a kaleidoscope"

"I like sex. My wife is pregnant! We are going to have a boy or abortion."

"Did you know that Jesus is gay? Yeah. It says it in the Bible. He got nailed by a few Roman centurions."

"How many Viet Nam vets does it take to change a light bulb? You don't know? That's right, you *don't* know, because you weren't there, man!"

"So three Hahnium atoms walk into a bar, HA HA HA"

"Why was the pencil in the toilet? It was a No. 2."

"What did the fisherman do on his date? Netfish and krill"

"If there's another explanation for my gray hairs other than I'm turning into a polar bear, I don't want to hear it. Don't ruin this for me."

"If you got on a bus with a bunch of gay guys would you stay on or would you get off?"