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Joke of the Day

"Two foot fetishists are sitting in the back of a police van. One turns to the other says: ""I think we got off on the wrong foot."""

"There are two types of people in the world... ...those who pee in the shower, and liars."

"If ""Bieber fever"" is when a Bieber song comes on the radio & you start throwing up & stabbing yourself, then yes I had Bieber fever once."

"That ONE time In class you raise your hand, and some motherfucker screams out the answer."

"Why did the blind driver have no hands? He was reading road signs at 50 miles per hour"

"Oil producers are losing money on every barrel ... But, that's OK because they're making up for it on volume."

"Thanks for the 27 hashtags describing your pic otherwise I would have never known it's a hamburger"

"WHY ARE THEY STILL PLAYING CHRISTMAS COMMERCIALS? Me watching recorded TV shows"

"Found some chips in the bag of air I just bought."

"When you gaze into the abyss, the abyss also gazes into you, wraps a towel around itself and screams oh wait that's my neighbor haha Hi Pam!"