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Joke of the Day

"Why didn't the cow want to go skydiving? ...the steaks were too high."

"What language does a boxer who punches jokes speak? Punjabi-ng."

"my signature move is called ""the Mouse,"" where I run around the dance floor wearing nothing but a tampon"

"Well - It's not the first time Donald has left a Bush disappointed..."

"Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? People like me have to go to work and don't have time for all that."

"I saw a squirrel bury a nut in my backyard today. I'm going to swap it for a grilled cheese sandwich and blow his mind."

"What do you call a woman with her tongue out? A lesbian with a hard on."

"How do you know Princess Diana has dandruff? They found her Head and Shoulders in the glovebox."

"When I was in high school my girlfriend's dad got angry that I took her virginity. I said ""Sorry, it won't happen again."""

"My friend hasn't spoken to me since I accused him of stealing some wooden panels. I think he took a fence."