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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a woman with her tongue out? A lesbian with a hard on."
Next Joke
"If my wife ever hired a private detective to follow me, it would be to get pictures of me not using the coupons I said I used."
"How do you know if a black person used your TV? It's not there anymore."
"Beware of the half truth. You may have gotten hold of the wrong half."
"What does Brokeback Mountain and the NFL have in common? The cowboys both suck."
"Reasons I Can Relate To Raccoons: 1) Dark circles around eyes. 2) Eats junk. 3) Small and chubby. 4) Stays up all night. 5) Cute but will fight you."
"When a woman says, ""We need to talk"", it's no good. Never has a woman said, ""We need to talk"" and followed it up with ""about pillow forts""."
"The only problem with kissing a perfect 10... ...is how cold the mirror feels against your lips."
"Me: Waitress, can I ask you something about the menu please Waitress [slaps my face]: The men I please, that's none of your business"
"Women that say size doesn't matter are just? Shallow"