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Joke of the Day

"I'm glad we evolved from apes. If we evolved from chameleons, we'd constantly be walking into each other."

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"What is the difference between picking your nose.... ...and fucking someone up the ass? When picking your nose, you hope something **will** be stuck to the end after you pull out!"
"I hope if I ever get taken in for questioning there's no algebra."
"What do elderly zombies crave? BRAAAAAAAAAAAAANS"
"How do you reject a French girl? Just say neaux."
"Why don't ducks blow glass? To many quacks"
"What's the difference between Mexicans and Jesus? Jesus didn't have tattoos of Mexicans all over *his* body"
"What do you call a spitting vampire? Spatula."
"My girlfriend's keyboard broke, and she sent me this message. ""HelpmyspacebarisbrokenandIwouldlikeanalternative"" What the hell is a ternative?"
"[interrogation] ""Where were u on the nite of the 5th?"" Stabbing a guy. ""Louder for the tape."" [leans in] Grabbing a pie. I went out for pie."
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