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Joke of the Day

"Keep an identical glass of vodka next to the glass of water on your bedside table for a refreshing morning game of Russian Roulette"

"Wearing Crocs is like getting a blow job from a dude... It feels really good until you look down, and realize how gay you are. Edit: Adam Carolla apparently wrote this. Who knew?"

"Two condoms are walking down the street... The first one sees a Gay bar, turns to his friend, and says 'Hey, want to go in and get shit faced?'"

"A man walks in for a blood donation. The nurse asks ""Are you sexually active?"" The man replies ""Wouldn't that be rather awkward with us both sitting here?"""

"I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant.. , but then I changed my mind."

"Why did the bacon laugh? Because the egg cracked a yolk."

"Descriptivism is the right way of managing the English language, irregardless of what you think."

"*Approaches a guy reading ""Catch Me If You Can""* I love that book. The way he just *clenches fist* catches all those freakin' cans."

"Tonight's Menu: Gourmet pork blend sausage with organic tomato reduction, served on warm split bread rolls. AKA: Hot dogs with ketchup."

"Single? Give your sexual partner a Valentine's Day treat by having a manicure."