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Joke of the Day

"A prospective army man walks into a recruitment office without pants. ""Is there a draft in here?"""

"A gun and a bullet get into a heated argument Police still don't know who fired the first shot"

"If I ever get to an age where the music from the ice cream truck doesn't make me excited, pull the plug."

"those damn vegans still drinking water?!?! That's a fish's house, you nasty savages!!"

"What do you call a woman who obsesses over learning about sex? An info-maniac."

"SMS codes for seniors: BTW - Bring the Wheelchair FWIW - Forgot Where I Was LMDO - Laughing My Dentures Out WTFA - Wet the Furniture Again"

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? (Slightly NSFW) A lick-a-lot-a-puss."

"Did you hear about the goth kid with dyslexia? He sold his soul to Santa."

"Mute goes to a wedding... After the ceremony he won't let go of his dick and everyone's a little put off by his public display. With his free hand, he signs ""Speak now or forever hold your peace""."

"I could tell you a joke about TCP.... But I'd have to keep repeating it until you got it."